Those word strike home, at the ache of his center. She can see it on his face, the flicker or surprise and pain before he hides it away.
"That's not something you can help," He says. It's not an excuse he'd like to give, not to anyone else, but it's true, and she'd be an exception anyway for deserving an excuse.
"You've got a family," He continues. "Worry about yourself by worrying about them." He can't meet her eyes.
He doesn't look at her when he tells her to worry about herself. Worry about her family. There's an irony in that, she thinks. Like he's not a part of all of that.
She reaches up with her free hand, guiding his chin so that he'll look at her. "That's what I'm doing. I can't go back to them without you. So if you're in trouble, I'm going to help. I'm not just going to leave you. Okay?"
He's not a part of that. At least, that's what he thinks. But suddenly her hand is touching his face, startling him into stillness. And some of it, being touched upon his face like this, kicks his instincts into wakefulness and screaming again for a mask.
He does look at her, with wide eyes. If she hadn't startled him so, wiping words from his mind, he might have had a better, firmer protest toward all this.
"I can't let you get hurt for me," He says. He tries to put on a grin, cover up the distant horror. "Even if I got killed it probably would just be doing me a favor. No more waiting around to set free."
"Don't say that." She scolds him with furrowed brows and complete sincerity, regardless of how he means to joke. The thought that death would be something preferable is one that she can't stomach hearing--especially not from someone she cares about.
"I'm not going to get hurt, but you can't talk like that. We're in this together, aren't we?" That was what they had promised. Though she hasn't been completely upfront with him.
"Look--Can you see this?" She drops her hand from his chin and holds our her arm, palm facing up. Drawing in the spirit energy around her, she watches the energy criss-cross across her skin in the telltale blue lines of Blut.
It's not a death wish. He just has no other way to get out of his body at the moment, and this body, he's sure, is what holds him back. He knows he's still hollow inside.
But the fact she thinks that would be that makes him frown. "I wouldn't leave, you just wouldn't--"
What he was going to say about being unseen (something he's well and used to) dies in his throat and she lets go of him and lifts her arm. His brow furrows as he stares but he's not sure what, exactly, she's waiting for him to see.
"Your... arm?" He tries hesitantly. "Is something supposed to happen?"
He can't see it. That makes sense, now that she thinks about it. It's still spirit energy, and he's not able to see that right now. But he should still be able to feel the protection that it gives her...
She lifts his other hand, the one still clasped in hers. Their hands are parted for just a moment before she takes his and presses it against her forearm. While his eyes aren't equipped to see the effect, he should be able to feel the hardness of her normally soft skin.
"It's Blut," she tells him. "It's a defensive ability. We draw in spirit energy around us and send it through our veins. It creates a shield, blocking out any damage that we might sustain--physical or spiritual."
She lets that sink in for a few minutes. Softer, she adds: "I wished for my powers back. I'm a Quincy again." He might hear the small note of pride in her voice, but she continues on, even stronger. "Nothing is going to hurt me now. And I won't let anything hurt you, either."
It's very quickly evident that she can see something he can't. That's the first injury. She brings him to touch her arm and he's surprised to find it's hardened, like stone. Or like a mask.
He blinks, surprised at her and her explanation. It's a useful ability from the sounds of it. No need for high speed regeneration when the pain can just be skipped over all together.
It reminds of another fight, when the blood would not stop flowing, not until the old man knelt down and did something about it. He'd barely thought a thing of it then.
And she continues, so proud and pleased to have power. He stands in a shadow, useless and powerless and sure to be left behind. She promises protection and fear claws at him all the more. "You got it all back," He breathes, voice smaller than he'd like. Could he get his back as well? How soon? He shakes out his head.
"I... don't know that there's time," she cautions uncertainly. "I made the wish on a whim a couple days ago. It only came through this morning. It doesn't happen instantly..." He sounds so eager to get his own powers back. She should have said something when she made her own wish, but she simply hadn't been thinking. It didn't cross her mind that he would be so put out not to be on the same level as her.
"I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner. Maybe there won't even be anything dangerous? Maybe we're just worrying about it over nothing." She sounds hopeful. Maybe it won't matter after all. They don't even know what kind of world they're going into.
She casts a glance back at the portal, clearly weighing her options. She doesn't want to delay, but... "...I'll come with you, if you to make the wish now." It's important to him, and a small detour tot he wishing pond probably won't make much of a difference.
Eager doesn't quite describe it. He's itching for it, aching for it, wanting so bad. He wants to be in one piece again, as much as he can be. He's been drowning for a year and breath is nearly there, just in reach.
That he needs to see her safe only adds to it.
He watches her, and she's trying to let him down easy, he knows, but there ain't no easy means for coming down here. Wherever she goes, he's going with her, but he stares at her wide eyed like he's made some desperate plea and it's down to her to give it.
He's been desperate for so long, he's forgotten what it was to get what he's looking for. He laughs his relief. "Yes!" He bursts out, face alight.He moves fast, pulling her along by her wrist.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2018-05-09 09:39 am (UTC)"That's not something you can help," He says. It's not an excuse he'd like to give, not to anyone else, but it's true, and she'd be an exception anyway for deserving an excuse.
"You've got a family," He continues. "Worry about yourself by worrying about them." He can't meet her eyes.
no subject
on 2018-05-09 02:18 pm (UTC)She reaches up with her free hand, guiding his chin so that he'll look at her. "That's what I'm doing. I can't go back to them without you. So if you're in trouble, I'm going to help. I'm not just going to leave you. Okay?"
no subject
on 2018-05-09 02:59 pm (UTC)He does look at her, with wide eyes. If she hadn't startled him so, wiping words from his mind, he might have had a better, firmer protest toward all this.
"I can't let you get hurt for me," He says. He tries to put on a grin, cover up the distant horror. "Even if I got killed it probably would just be doing me a favor. No more waiting around to set free."
no subject
on 2018-05-09 04:01 pm (UTC)"I'm not going to get hurt, but you can't talk like that. We're in this together, aren't we?" That was what they had promised. Though she hasn't been completely upfront with him.
"Look--Can you see this?" She drops her hand from his chin and holds our her arm, palm facing up. Drawing in the spirit energy around her, she watches the energy criss-cross across her skin in the telltale blue lines of Blut.
no subject
on 2018-05-09 04:07 pm (UTC)But the fact she thinks that would be that makes him frown. "I wouldn't leave, you just wouldn't--"
What he was going to say about being unseen (something he's well and used to) dies in his throat and she lets go of him and lifts her arm. His brow furrows as he stares but he's not sure what, exactly, she's waiting for him to see.
"Your... arm?" He tries hesitantly. "Is something supposed to happen?"
no subject
on 2018-05-09 04:23 pm (UTC)She lifts his other hand, the one still clasped in hers. Their hands are parted for just a moment before she takes his and presses it against her forearm. While his eyes aren't equipped to see the effect, he should be able to feel the hardness of her normally soft skin.
"It's Blut," she tells him. "It's a defensive ability. We draw in spirit energy around us and send it through our veins. It creates a shield, blocking out any damage that we might sustain--physical or spiritual."
She lets that sink in for a few minutes. Softer, she adds: "I wished for my powers back. I'm a Quincy again." He might hear the small note of pride in her voice, but she continues on, even stronger. "Nothing is going to hurt me now. And I won't let anything hurt you, either."
no subject
on 2018-05-09 04:55 pm (UTC)He blinks, surprised at her and her explanation. It's a useful ability from the sounds of it. No need for high speed regeneration when the pain can just be skipped over all together.
It reminds of another fight, when the blood would not stop flowing, not until the old man knelt down and did something about it. He'd barely thought a thing of it then.
And she continues, so proud and pleased to have power. He stands in a shadow, useless and powerless and sure to be left behind. She promises protection and fear claws at him all the more. "You got it all back," He breathes, voice smaller than he'd like. Could he get his back as well? How soon? He shakes out his head.
"Let me ask for mine! I should be at your side!"
no subject
on 2018-05-10 01:05 am (UTC)"I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner. Maybe there won't even be anything dangerous? Maybe we're just worrying about it over nothing." She sounds hopeful. Maybe it won't matter after all. They don't even know what kind of world they're going into.
She casts a glance back at the portal, clearly weighing her options. She doesn't want to delay, but... "...I'll come with you, if you to make the wish now." It's important to him, and a small detour tot he wishing pond probably won't make much of a difference.
no subject
on 2018-05-10 01:36 am (UTC)That he needs to see her safe only adds to it.
He watches her, and she's trying to let him down easy, he knows, but there ain't no easy means for coming down here. Wherever she goes, he's going with her, but he stares at her wide eyed like he's made some desperate plea and it's down to her to give it.
He's been desperate for so long, he's forgotten what it was to get what he's looking for. He laughs his relief. "Yes!" He bursts out, face alight.He moves fast, pulling her along by her wrist.