Leaning up and away from the window when the door opens, she turns and peers, as if trying to make sure it's going to be who she thinks it is--ah yes! His appearance gets a bright smile out of her, and she stomps through the snow toward the door and away from the window.
"I'm looking for you!" she chirps excitedly.
But she doesn't go inside and, instead, lets him come out. "I came before," she admits, "but you weren't here. No one was, and I... Anyway." Worrying about whether or not he had been eaten by anomalies or devoured by the snow is another can of worms. Again, she smiles, this time it's more subdued.
"I went with some others up the mountain, checking out the caves," He explains.
He doesn't assume anything of her faltering or doubt. He doesn't really know the full context of the world she's been to. He's never asked her, or any from that place, for the details involved in it.
The subdued look is odd, but not so much he's going to ask about that either. Emotional things aren't his forte.
He blinks down at her. Then says, "Alright. Is this one of those walk around the corner with a blindfold surprises or..." Maybe she's mastered some new technique in her knife throwing. Or thought up a whole new one. Either of those could be fun.
"That sounds really fun," and she seems completely sincere, almost a little envious in a childlike way. Mountain caves? Wow, take her. Maybe she'd find some treasure. Or, even better, some crazy monsters.
Speaking of monsters...
"No, silly. You have to have both eyes open"--she pinches both hands by her eyes, then opens them for effect--"for this surprise." Her hands lower. "But... you have to promise not to scream. It's... a little scary." She sounds perhaps a bit guilty. "I accidentally scared Royce. When I showed him the first time. I promise it's still me."
He grins at her. "Heck yeah it was," He says. "A good camping trip and ton of shiy rocks." And in truth, it really has been a long time since he's had that much fun. Even counting his past year as part of Ichigo again.
His brow is going up, higher than even before. He's gotta admit, he can't even begin to guess what plans she's got in mind. He snorts when he's told not to scream. That's not likely.
He sticks both thumbs into his pockets and takes a step back. "Alright, you've got my word, lets see what you've got."
"Okay!" Which sounds all fine and good until it starts happening. Zan will get the biggest kick out of it; however, everyone else will simply want to die. (She'll remember to circle back and ask about the cave adventuring later.)
But for now: She turns around and heads out several yards, close enough for him to see well but far enough away to give her room to... move. Both of the gloves come off; the left hand has been wrapped a bit in a bandage which she doesn't bother to remove. It's fine. All she has to do...
Is feel it, stretch her arms up. The brand beneath the bandage tingles, burns, and glows in its secrecy. Instilled within her, the Void emerges in long, unwieldy tendrils of darkness, elongating her limbs and consuming her. The shadowy creature drops low onto the ground and takes off quickly, utterly silent. It runs at Zan and then, suddenly, veers to the side and disappears, long and reaching, around the house.
Only to come back around the other side, just as fast. When it appears, it slows, wobbles and begins to disperse back into the body of the girl that's there again, sitting crouched on her legs and knees.
He doesn't scream. Screaming from him is typically limited to pain or fury. (There's that at least.)
But to say he was expecting a little girl, around Karin and Yuzu's age, to suddenly get swallowed up in a swath of darkness would be another story. His breath pulls sharp in alarm. Not even with hollows has he seen a transformation like this.
In her place is something not quite her-- and it rushes him. He falls, automatic, into a fighting stance knowing full well that he's not going to be able to punch a frigin' shadow but instinct isn't always that smart. Emily darts off then, circling around and then back, until once again she's actually Emily. Kneeling upon the ground.
His eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly agape. He stares at her, silent and catching his breath. And then his stance drops. He walks over to where she kneels and joins her upon the ground, still looking her over like he might find sign of shadow. He speaks. "...Have you always been able to do that? What the hell even was that?" A hesitant note of awe works its way into his voice. A little context would be great before he gets too excited either which way.
As crazy as the event that transpired was, Emily grins just slightly when he comes over, still holding her hands up and glancing over them. This is something she could never in her life fathom doing, and the rush of adrenaline she gets is astounding to her.
Now she realizes, yes, sitting idly by and being an empress holed up in a palace isn't something she wants to ever do.
"No," she admits quietly, lowering her hands and glancing up at him. "I haven't ever been able to do anything that amazing before. It is amazing, right? I made a wish. I wanted to be like you and everyone else who can do amazing things. Like Gabriel and Renart.
"So I made a wish to be able to do something really interesting. To have magic powers, too! And then I woke up with..." While she doesn't unravel the bandage, she does push it off her hand enough to show the strange brand beneath. "I just felt like I could do it, and when I lifted my arms..." She does so a bit, as if--tada!
Amazing? Yeah. Yeah it is. He starts to grin, meaning to say as much. But when she says, like him there's a sharp pang of jealousy. She's got power and he has nothing. Nothing, when it's all he is.
And then just as fast, she brings Gabriel and Renart to follow after him in her idea of power, and that sends his thoughts elsewhere. To Renart's cynical regard toward people and powers, especially like whatever she's got. To Gabriel, who asked Zephyr to dial him back. To the hunger roaring in his core.
That doesn't mean it's not worth it, part of him thinks. But quieter is the whisper, doesn't mean it is.
"It's incredible," He tells her, because that much is true. His eye shift to the bandage, where underneath lies her mark. "But, why are you hiding it? There aren't any side-effects, are there?"
Not sure exactly, all she can really do is shrug some. "I don't think so," she says, uncertain. "Nothing has happened yet except... I do get tired. It doesn't last very long either..." Which sounds more disappointed than anything. It's fine.
"I did it twice once, but then when I try again, it doesn't work. I think I'm too tired. I'll just have to practice." But he liked it, or seemed to, and that's what matters most to her. She beams up at him, excited and a little reassuring. "It doesn't hurt. The mark. Corvo has one, too. I saw it a few times, but he wouldn't tell me what it was.
"So I don't know what it means, but that's okay. Maybe it helps the power! And maybe Corvo has some, too." Ha ha. "You should make a wish, too! Maybe you could wish for your mask or something. Or maybe your sword!"
She doesn't think so. It's no guarantee, but it's promising. He feels a little more confident he can abandon caution in all this, and really, that's far more natural to him than trying to worry about it. He grins.
"Alright, but you come to me if that changes. I might have tips." Like knowing what to say to an inner demon. Or dealing with hunger. But for now that'll be that.
"I've heard of powers being draining like that. It's definitely a practice thing but knowing what it is you're trying to practice helps too. In my experience, it's less about using it and more about trying to integrate with it, settling your mind just the right way so that you and the power are the same thing." He grins wider, wilder. It's pretty obvious to him that this mark, this power, is something that was meant to be inherited. There's no maybe about it, in his mind. Corvo should never have bothered with secrecy, but he's not surprised. Mom and Dad did the same thing, left him-- them to work it all out for themselves.
"I'm still working on the wish thing. Things are complicated right now," He admits. Read: not working. "But you could probably still ask Zephyr what the mark means. And you can bet, once I do get to wishing, I'll be coming back with all of it; mask, sword, and all."
Thrilled, she gives a very soft, excited yell and claps her hands. Not even at herself, but at the idea of Zan leveling up with all the things he's currently missing. She climbs up to her feet, doesn't bother dusting herself off at all, and throws her arms around his shoulders and neck.
He's getting the full little sister shtick lately, huh. She's just very excited to be Cool.
"I have a special gift! I can be like you! And then we can go on adventures and do all kinds of amazing things!" She leans back to peer at him, her hands on his shoulders. "You'll have your sword and your mask! And you'll scare everyone, and me, too! You can beat them up, and I'll sneak up on them!" She thinks it'll be amazing? Clearly, she has the best role models...
"So you should hurry up and wish. If you want, I can help you wish, too! Even if you can't get your mask and sword... maybe you can get something like it. Like the mask the egg gave you, but better. It'll do something amazing, yeah?"
Once again, as with every other time, the sudden contact is jarring. There's the typical stiffening and strain in his breath. A warning guised in her name settles in his throat. She might catch the barest whisper of it.
Her enthusiasm is overflowing. If it weren't for what he is, maybe he could laugh along with her. He certainly wants to. He just tries not to look too much like he's bracing when she draws back. He manages one brief laugh.
"You want to beat up the people here? In this village?" He asks disbelieving. She's probably just getting ahead of herself there. But for a moment he entertains the idea of the abject chaos that would cause. Just for fun. And to distract from other thoughts.
"In any case I'd like to keep trying for what's mine before I give up," He tells her then. "The mask before was cool, but it's really important to me that I'm getting back the right thing. Though, I hate to break it to you, if it is the right thing I'm still not sure you'll be able to see it."
"Mmm..." Hilariously, Emily absolutely pauses to consider his inquiry. Her smile is a tad mischievous, but not maliciously so. "Maybe some of them," she whispers conspiratorially. In all honesty, there isn't many people she vehemently dislikes, not right now. Though there may be some cross contamination from Royce and Alfie.
Except for Zan, of course. She's quite fond of him.
"That's okay," she says reassuringly. "Even if I don't see your amazing mask, as long as you have it, that's what's important. You'll be able to see it. Or feel it, I guess." She smiles some. "You still have to go to the memory tree with me, too. Don't forget. And you can show me. Maybe I can see it there since it's your memory.
"Do you really know about shadows? Can you teach me... like how you taught me to throw the knives?"
His brow goes up even higher as she genuinely ponders the plan for a mass attack on the town. Her answers makes him laugh and flash a wry smirk. She's trouble, that's for sure, but he still can't help but think she doesn't quite know what she's asking for.
"Not shadows," He corrects. "I just understand how some kinds of power work." He mulls on it. Fuck it. He laughs, "Probably because it's not a power that I had. It's a power that I was." And he smirks, because knowing her, she'll probably think that's cool.
"The sword and the mask I want to get? They're both me. And the other me, he can use me and my power, as long as I exist. So, while I don't know exactly how yours works, I could probably take a good guess for you. And... maybe-" Instead of showing exactly what went on in his own life, "-I can show you what it looks like when the other me tries to use what I've got. Sound good?"
Um, absolutely? She thinks that sounds super badass, and her face lights up briefly with interest. He was like a shadow? Like Corvo, in a way, she thinks. Or... something similar, in whatever way Corvo would come and go with the shadows, silent, quick, in jacket and mask with sword and gun.
Yeah, it's badass.
"Okay! That sounds really amazing." She offers him both a kind of smirk and a reassuring smile. "You're really strong and amazing. Even if the other you uses you... I think that's okay. That's what Corvo does. He's Lord Protector, so he would do things for Mother. And now he'll do things for me. Whatever I ask him." Which, thankfully, isn't anything horrific. Not this Emily. Not yet.
The other Emily who smelled blood, though? When I'm Empress, I want them to build two giant ships and crash them into each other. And all the men will drown. I'm allowed to do that, right? Maybe Zan will see that Emily soon.
"I'll keep practicing. And you can help me. I wish it lasted longer... then I could be sneaky."
He laughs in light of her praise. Right now he feels the furthest thing from strong and amazing. "You're the one whose got the power right now, kid," he points out.
He thinks nothing of her future. "It's good he's listening to you. He should. You belong to each other after all." Maybe he'll regret saying things like that someday.
"Ichigo wasn't any good at using my power," he tells her. "At one time he could only wear my mask for ten seconds before it would break. Completely useless. But you know, all it took to get better was the right situation. The right way of thinking." He taps his head with a finger.
"Lucky you, you don't need all that to be sneaky now. You're forgetting something important. You're a little girl, Emily. You can already sneak up on them because they'll all assume the best of you. No one sees a threat in you right now but that's to your advantage." He smirks.
The advice gets a small smile out of her, though it's a bit modest. "Alfie said that, too." About being a little girl, about it being the best kind of trick she could ever pull. It's not often she uses it; thankfully, her needs and wants never cause her to need to pull a fast one on others.
Usually.
"Even Ichigo had a hard time?" Hm. Can relate. She feels a bit better about sucking so badly at wobbling around as a shadow, at it only lasting ten or fifteen seconds at most. "Okay. I'll get stronger. I'll try to find the 'right situation' and the right way of thinking. Then I'll be able to use the shadow better."
"Alfie's one of the smarter people here," He says with a smirk. He doesn't usually dish out bold-faced complements, but when he does, of course it's going to be behind the back.
It's truth, Little girls have to their disposal a powerful tool for trickery. He and Mom learned that the hard way, though he's far from thinking about that now.
He snorts. "Understatement. He didn't improve any more than that in the course of month." That had been a very bad month, and he hadn't even been technically conscious for it. "But," He continues, "You know what did get him to improve fast, after all that? It was finding a reason to actually fight, and then getting right into battle. So tell me, Emily. What do you want to fight for?"
The thing she wants to fight for... She's never actually considered it, not being aware of it anyway. The question surprises her, and it shows on her face. Slowly, she looks around them as if seeing the Meadous will somehow give her the answer she's craving. It has to be something worth it. Something meaningful.
"I want to... fight for myself," she finally murmurs. "I want... to be stronger... so I can fight for other things all on my own. So I won't need saving. So I can save other people instead.
"So no one won't be able to take me every again, and so... what happened to Mother won't happen to me." She lifts her head. "I want to fight to be stronger," she repeats, more sure of it this time.
She's never thought about it. He can somewhat understand. It's not common that sort of thing immediately shapes someone's whole life. Catalysts like that usually come later, and by that time, helplessness might be all someone knows.
His face is impassive, carefully blank while he waits for her answers. Once done, he leans just that little bit closer. His grin grows wide enough to show nearly all his teeth.
"Good answer," He says. "If I were your power, I think I'd be pretty willing to help you along with that."
He stands up straighter. "Lucky for you, I'm already willing as it is! Keep that wish of yours in mind when you use that power. What you want and what your power seeks might not be the same thing, but knowing that will still help you integrate."
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2018-11-11 03:10 am (UTC)"I'm looking for you!" she chirps excitedly.
But she doesn't go inside and, instead, lets him come out. "I came before," she admits, "but you weren't here. No one was, and I... Anyway." Worrying about whether or not he had been eaten by anomalies or devoured by the snow is another can of worms. Again, she smiles, this time it's more subdued.
"I came to show you something! It's a surprise!"
(heads up for future threads, the snow is just on the mountain until official winter hits!)
on 2018-11-11 03:28 am (UTC)He doesn't assume anything of her faltering or doubt. He doesn't really know the full context of the world she's been to. He's never asked her, or any from that place, for the details involved in it.
The subdued look is odd, but not so much he's going to ask about that either. Emotional things aren't his forte.
He blinks down at her. Then says, "Alright. Is this one of those walk around the corner with a blindfold surprises or..." Maybe she's mastered some new technique in her knife throwing. Or thought up a whole new one. Either of those could be fun.
wow um ignore me and everything!! i confused myself super hard. too amped for snow.
on 2018-11-11 04:03 am (UTC)Speaking of monsters...
"No, silly. You have to have both eyes open"--she pinches both hands by her eyes, then opens them for effect--"for this surprise." Her hands lower. "But... you have to promise not to scream. It's... a little scary." She sounds perhaps a bit guilty. "I accidentally scared Royce. When I showed him the first time. I promise it's still me."
fff it's all good! :')
on 2018-11-11 04:14 am (UTC)His brow is going up, higher than even before. He's gotta admit, he can't even begin to guess what plans she's got in mind. He snorts when he's told not to scream. That's not likely.
He sticks both thumbs into his pockets and takes a step back. "Alright, you've got my word, lets see what you've got."
no subject
on 2018-11-11 05:01 am (UTC)But for now: She turns around and heads out several yards, close enough for him to see well but far enough away to give her room to... move. Both of the gloves come off; the left hand has been wrapped a bit in a bandage which she doesn't bother to remove. It's fine. All she has to do...
Is feel it, stretch her arms up. The brand beneath the bandage tingles, burns, and glows in its secrecy. Instilled within her, the Void emerges in long, unwieldy tendrils of darkness, elongating her limbs and consuming her. The shadowy creature drops low onto the ground and takes off quickly, utterly silent. It runs at Zan and then, suddenly, veers to the side and disappears, long and reaching, around the house.
Only to come back around the other side, just as fast. When it appears, it slows, wobbles and begins to disperse back into the body of the girl that's there again, sitting crouched on her legs and knees.
no subject
on 2018-11-11 05:22 am (UTC)But to say he was expecting a little girl, around Karin and Yuzu's age, to suddenly get swallowed up in a swath of darkness would be another story. His breath pulls sharp in alarm. Not even with hollows has he seen a transformation like this.
In her place is something not quite her-- and it rushes him. He falls, automatic, into a fighting stance knowing full well that he's not going to be able to punch a frigin' shadow but instinct isn't always that smart. Emily darts off then, circling around and then back, until once again she's actually Emily. Kneeling upon the ground.
His eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly agape. He stares at her, silent and catching his breath. And then his stance drops. He walks over to where she kneels and joins her upon the ground, still looking her over like he might find sign of shadow. He speaks. "...Have you always been able to do that? What the hell even was that?" A hesitant note of awe works its way into his voice. A little context would be great before he gets too excited either which way.
no subject
on 2018-11-11 06:30 pm (UTC)Now she realizes, yes, sitting idly by and being an empress holed up in a palace isn't something she wants to ever do.
"No," she admits quietly, lowering her hands and glancing up at him. "I haven't ever been able to do anything that amazing before. It is amazing, right? I made a wish. I wanted to be like you and everyone else who can do amazing things. Like Gabriel and Renart.
"So I made a wish to be able to do something really interesting. To have magic powers, too! And then I woke up with..." While she doesn't unravel the bandage, she does push it off her hand enough to show the strange brand beneath. "I just felt like I could do it, and when I lifted my arms..." She does so a bit, as if--tada!
no subject
on 2018-11-12 06:57 am (UTC)And then just as fast, she brings Gabriel and Renart to follow after him in her idea of power, and that sends his thoughts elsewhere. To Renart's cynical regard toward people and powers, especially like whatever she's got. To Gabriel, who asked Zephyr to dial him back. To the hunger roaring in his core.
That doesn't mean it's not worth it, part of him thinks. But quieter is the whisper, doesn't mean it is.
"It's incredible," He tells her, because that much is true. His eye shift to the bandage, where underneath lies her mark. "But, why are you hiding it? There aren't any side-effects, are there?"
no subject
on 2018-11-13 06:13 pm (UTC)"I did it twice once, but then when I try again, it doesn't work. I think I'm too tired. I'll just have to practice." But he liked it, or seemed to, and that's what matters most to her. She beams up at him, excited and a little reassuring. "It doesn't hurt. The mark. Corvo has one, too. I saw it a few times, but he wouldn't tell me what it was.
"So I don't know what it means, but that's okay. Maybe it helps the power! And maybe Corvo has some, too." Ha ha. "You should make a wish, too! Maybe you could wish for your mask or something. Or maybe your sword!"
no subject
on 2018-11-14 12:51 am (UTC)"Alright, but you come to me if that changes. I might have tips." Like knowing what to say to an inner demon. Or dealing with hunger. But for now that'll be that.
"I've heard of powers being draining like that. It's definitely a practice thing but knowing what it is you're trying to practice helps too. In my experience, it's less about using it and more about trying to integrate with it, settling your mind just the right way so that you and the power are the same thing." He grins wider, wilder. It's pretty obvious to him that this mark, this power, is something that was meant to be inherited. There's no maybe about it, in his mind. Corvo should never have bothered with secrecy, but he's not surprised. Mom and Dad did the same thing, left him-- them to work it all out for themselves.
"I'm still working on the wish thing. Things are complicated right now," He admits. Read: not working. "But you could probably still ask Zephyr what the mark means. And you can bet, once I do get to wishing, I'll be coming back with all of it; mask, sword, and all."
no subject
on 2018-11-15 02:05 am (UTC)He's getting the full little sister shtick lately, huh. She's just very excited to be Cool.
"I have a special gift! I can be like you! And then we can go on adventures and do all kinds of amazing things!" She leans back to peer at him, her hands on his shoulders. "You'll have your sword and your mask! And you'll scare everyone, and me, too! You can beat them up, and I'll sneak up on them!" She thinks it'll be amazing? Clearly, she has the best role models...
"So you should hurry up and wish. If you want, I can help you wish, too! Even if you can't get your mask and sword... maybe you can get something like it. Like the mask the egg gave you, but better. It'll do something amazing, yeah?"
no subject
on 2018-11-15 01:46 pm (UTC)Her enthusiasm is overflowing. If it weren't for what he is, maybe he could laugh along with her. He certainly wants to. He just tries not to look too much like he's bracing when she draws back. He manages one brief laugh.
"You want to beat up the people here? In this village?" He asks disbelieving. She's probably just getting ahead of herself there. But for a moment he entertains the idea of the abject chaos that would cause. Just for fun. And to distract from other thoughts.
"In any case I'd like to keep trying for what's mine before I give up," He tells her then. "The mask before was cool, but it's really important to me that I'm getting back the right thing. Though, I hate to break it to you, if it is the right thing I'm still not sure you'll be able to see it."
no subject
on 2018-11-15 08:42 pm (UTC)Except for Zan, of course. She's quite fond of him.
"That's okay," she says reassuringly. "Even if I don't see your amazing mask, as long as you have it, that's what's important. You'll be able to see it. Or feel it, I guess." She smiles some. "You still have to go to the memory tree with me, too. Don't forget. And you can show me. Maybe I can see it there since it's your memory.
"Do you really know about shadows? Can you teach me... like how you taught me to throw the knives?"
no subject
on 2018-11-16 02:49 am (UTC)"Not shadows," He corrects. "I just understand how some kinds of power work." He mulls on it. Fuck it. He laughs, "Probably because it's not a power that I had. It's a power that I was." And he smirks, because knowing her, she'll probably think that's cool.
"The sword and the mask I want to get? They're both me. And the other me, he can use me and my power, as long as I exist. So, while I don't know exactly how yours works, I could probably take a good guess for you. And... maybe-" Instead of showing exactly what went on in his own life, "-I can show you what it looks like when the other me tries to use what I've got. Sound good?"
no subject
on 2018-11-17 02:27 am (UTC)Yeah, it's badass.
"Okay! That sounds really amazing." She offers him both a kind of smirk and a reassuring smile. "You're really strong and amazing. Even if the other you uses you... I think that's okay. That's what Corvo does. He's Lord Protector, so he would do things for Mother. And now he'll do things for me. Whatever I ask him." Which, thankfully, isn't anything horrific. Not this Emily. Not yet.
The other Emily who smelled blood, though? When I'm Empress, I want them to build two giant ships and crash them into each other. And all the men will drown. I'm allowed to do that, right? Maybe Zan will see that Emily soon.
"I'll keep practicing. And you can help me. I wish it lasted longer... then I could be sneaky."
no subject
on 2018-11-17 04:42 am (UTC)He thinks nothing of her future. "It's good he's listening to you. He should. You belong to each other after all." Maybe he'll regret saying things like that someday.
"Ichigo wasn't any good at using my power," he tells her. "At one time he could only wear my mask for ten seconds before it would break. Completely useless. But you know, all it took to get better was the right situation. The right way of thinking." He taps his head with a finger.
"Lucky you, you don't need all that to be sneaky now. You're forgetting something important. You're a little girl, Emily. You can already sneak up on them because they'll all assume the best of you. No one sees a threat in you right now but that's to your advantage." He smirks.
no subject
on 2018-11-19 05:37 pm (UTC)Usually.
"Even Ichigo had a hard time?" Hm. Can relate. She feels a bit better about sucking so badly at wobbling around as a shadow, at it only lasting ten or fifteen seconds at most. "Okay. I'll get stronger. I'll try to find the 'right situation' and the right way of thinking. Then I'll be able to use the shadow better."
no subject
on 2018-11-21 02:38 am (UTC)It's truth, Little girls have to their disposal a powerful tool for trickery. He and Mom learned that the hard way, though he's far from thinking about that now.
He snorts. "Understatement. He didn't improve any more than that in the course of month." That had been a very bad month, and he hadn't even been technically conscious for it. "But," He continues, "You know what did get him to improve fast, after all that? It was finding a reason to actually fight, and then getting right into battle. So tell me, Emily. What do you want to fight for?"
no subject
on 2018-11-21 05:03 pm (UTC)"I want to... fight for myself," she finally murmurs. "I want... to be stronger... so I can fight for other things all on my own. So I won't need saving. So I can save other people instead.
"So no one won't be able to take me every again, and so... what happened to Mother won't happen to me." She lifts her head. "I want to fight to be stronger," she repeats, more sure of it this time.
no subject
on 2018-11-22 01:33 am (UTC)His face is impassive, carefully blank while he waits for her answers. Once done, he leans just that little bit closer. His grin grows wide enough to show nearly all his teeth.
"Good answer," He says. "If I were your power, I think I'd be pretty willing to help you along with that."
He stands up straighter. "Lucky for you, I'm already willing as it is! Keep that wish of yours in mind when you use that power. What you want and what your power seeks might not be the same thing, but knowing that will still help you integrate."