The laughter worries her more than a little. It's hard to keep that smile on her lips when it feels like she's chiselling him apart. She's not sure what it was in her words that seemed to rattle him so much--but she could venture a guess if she had to.
"I'm not sure that you sound very accepting right now," she points out, but it's only a gentle caution, not an admonishment. She wants to ask if he's really okay, but she's not sure that the answer right now would be yes.
So instead, she continues: "But if you're really okay with this, then I am, too. I don't think you could find a more unconventional team." An Quincy and a Zanpakuto spirit, both tainted by the same hollow. It's an unquestionably weird pairing, but she's willing to give it a try.
She suggests he doesn't sound like what he is. The thought is absurd. Why do people keep reading meaning in whatever he says? He means what he means.
"Heh. Maybe not. Give Ichigo a run for his money," He snickers. Then, since it apparently needs elucidation, "I'm okay with it. I've never worked with anyone else quite like this, but I figure we can manage."
Two people together, instead of two beings merged. The dance of it feels messier, but if she's tending to the defensive, it might be doable.
"It's not like I need you to wield me either. I can carry myself."
I've never worked with anyone else quite like this, but I figure we can manage. That seems to convince her more than his quiet hysterics a moment ago. She eases back against her seat, comforted in some small part.
He further mentions that she won't need to wield his sword, and her smile turns a little more wry for just a moment. "That's a relief. I've never used a sword before. I don't think that would go well for either of us--but especially me." She's more likely to lop an arm off than manage to wield a sword the right way.
He snickers, imagining it for himself and the image isn't flattering.
"Give me some credit," He laughs. "I wouldn't let you get cut." Not by him, oh no. Not unless they were really going all out in their sparring, but even he still can't quite see that.
"It's probably easier than you think, anyway. At least, for a basic sword in the simplest of battles. I would obviously be a learning curve and-" He eyes her and her stature. "-I'm not all sure you could lift me," He says, teasing some more.
All of that may be true, but for Masaki's part, she looks thoroughly indignant by that ending burn. That is downright rude. "I'm stronger than I look, you know," she protests.
Being an archer helps build muscle, as does carting around three children on the norm. Neither one of those things is a very easy task.
She looks honestly offended. He remains honestly amused, delighted at her indignation.
And maybe, part of it is just him feeling smug.
"A Khyber knife," He says, without explanation. "Or a butcher knife if you don't know what that is well enough to picture it. A blade as tall as he is."
His brows rise up. "Strength or no, I stand by what I said."
The sudden explanation catches her a little off guard. A Khyber knife...or a butcher's blade. A very...very large one. Isshin's wasn't nearly as large as all that, as far as she can remember, but then again size didn't account for much. Except in this case, apparently.
"Well..." She says, getting up from the table with her own meal finished. She starts collecting the dishes together. "If you're as heavy as all that, then I guess you don't need seconds~."
In an instant, (like usual) his victory evaporates. His face immediately falls. That's not fair.
"W-Wai--" He starts, then stops.
"You know what? Fine! You're right! I guess I don't!" He huffs, leans back in his chair, and folds his arms. He's not sulking. He's just... proving a point!
She can't help but laugh at how the tables have turned. What was a victory for him is now one for her. The dishes are collected together, and she takes them all to the sink to wash up.
"You know, it'd be a shame if we got back to Ichigo, and he couldn't lift you, either. Really, it's for the best."
She looks up from the dishes at his grumbling--to find him sulking at the table like a child that's being punished. Which... she supposes that isn't far from the truth, but it does give her pause. While his quip had been rude, she wasn't actually that bothered by it. Not enough that she'd want to actually make him unhappy. Nor does she want to make him leave, either.
So after the sound of her finishing with the dishes, she comes around the counter again to the table. There's a small noise as she sets a fresh bowl of curry next to him, a set of chopsticks laid over the top of the bowl.
"You shouldn't sulk like that. Your face might stick that way," she cautions him, teasing just a little. Then she touches the top of his head briefly--like someone might pat a child, and heads back around the counter to put the leftovers away.
He's not going to leave. At least not yet. But he keeps tracing lines as he listens to her clean dishes. It's all familiar sound though perhaps more from Yuzu at this point than from her.
He looks up at that new, closer, sound and his eyes take in a filled bowl. His delight is shameless and immediate. He laughs once and pulls it all in. He's grinning and distracted, enough so that he doesn't catch her until it's too late and she's patting his head.
"Ugh, don't say that," He complains, though his mood has already improved. "You joke, but I'm pretty sure it's true and Ichigo's the living example of it." He wastes not a second more and begins to devour that curry before she can change her mind and take it away.
He's apparently very easily placated. That's good. She'll keep that in mind for later.
His comment about Ichigo catches her off guard again, though. He keeps throwing these small tidbits of information about her son, and she tries not to seem too desperate to catch each one of them--whether they're good or bad. The sound of her moving around does pause for a moment, but she quickly resumes again.
"...I'll admit, it's difficult to imagine him making that face." He smiled so much as a boy, it's hard to picture anything else.
"Mmf- You'll probably get used to it once you're around him again," He says idly, between mouthfuls. "He frowns more than I don't. He's sulky, I've said that, but most of the time the stupid grumping around is just his default."
He eyes inside the bowl, still trying to scrape out every last bit her can. Unfortunately, eventually, there's not much more to scrape unless he wants to eat the actual bowl.
"I'd have given him a hard time about it and all the energy he's wasting with stupid acts but we haven't nearly got that far down the list of grievances." He sets the bowl down, and then stands, taking the dish to the sink himself.
She wants to ask why, but she's afraid to know. He's already mentioned what her death did to their family. He's mentioned how happy Ichigo will be to see her--that he has to see her, for that reason. It's easy to connect the dots, but she doesn't want it to be true. Maybe it's denial, but if it is, then she's fine with it. She's going to fix this, somehow. And then it won't have to weigh on any of them like it has.
"Well, when we get back, I'll help you with that," she tells him, as he walks his empty bowl to the sink. She holds out her hand for it, like she expects him to hand it over. "I won't let him keep making that kind of face while I'm there."
"Hah! Just don't mention I said anything. Then he'll pout more on principle. Oh the horror should he act more like me." He snickers to himself.
He falters only a moment on passing the bowl to her. Might as well take advantage of an offer.
Then, more seriously, and with an easier smile, he says, "I'm sure you'll have no problem. You never used to, after all." Countless toddler-ish tears were stopped by the power of her voice and smile.
He manages to pull a smile from her, even despite her own thoughts. It's true, of course. It wasn't like she hadn't noticed how even if he'd been crying a moment ago, he would always smile for her. It warmed her heart so much. How could she do anything less than return his smile?
"Well... He's older now," she points out, only for something to use as a distraction from how much that smiling little boy means to her. "He'll be a teenager when I see him again. Those are always more difficult."
It actually does worry her a little... but she's sure that they'll work it out somehow.
He meant a lot to her, he realizes. All the adoration that went her way and only just now does it hit that the reverse might apply. But that's just her, isn't it? She just does that to people, extends her kindness. Even to him.
"He's stubborn, I'll give you that," He says. He leans down upon the counter, beside where she works at the dishes. "But it won't be impossible. He does smile sometimes." Little moments. Short ones. Saving the day. Saying goodbye to a shinigami. Walking along with Inoue and Chad not fair behind. A girl cutting to the heart of him to remind Ichigo he still has one, mask or no.
It disquiets him. He can't smile for the same things Ichigo does. Every one of those brings some sense of feeling strangled.
"I'm not sure how I could prove it to you, but I can't think why you would have any problem."
He leans next to her as she works, and there's a sense of familiarity. It's comforting in a way, even with everything else on her mind. She looks over at him as he makes the effort to reassure her, and there's gratitude in her smile.
"You don't have to prove it to me. I believe you."
The question catches her off, but only enough to surprise her in turn. She pulls a smile and a small laugh a moment later.
"I don't think I'd put it like that. It's more that I don't have any reason not to trust you. Convincing me that I'll be able to make my son smile again... I can't imagine anything self-serving from that. You're just simply telling me what you believe. And I've decided that I'll believe it, too."
"I could be toying with you," He suggests, though it's far too casual to be serious. "Playing along just enough to gain your trust and turn the tables at some point down the line."
He's never in his life heard of a hollow playing a long game like that. He doesn't know if any could. He can't imagine going to the effort. But on the other hand, she can't imagine he's not self-serving and that too is a joke.
"But it's not that. It's that you need a reason not to trust, instead of a reason to trust in the first place." And that he has, at least, given a few reasons. He must have. These things just happen with him.
"I just believe in giving chances, if I can." She rinses the bowl in her hands and sets it aside. There's a towel nearby that she uses to dry her hands, turning as she does so to give him more of her attention.
"When you stopped, after we'd first met in that dream--" She laughs a little, at herself. "Yesterday, I guess?" it catches her by surprise that it's only been that long, but she continues regardless.
"There was a part of me that was scared to trust you. I thought all of those same things to myself--and I think that part of me is the same for everyone. When people warn us about this or that, we listen, whether we want to or not. And maybe those warnings are right sometimes, but sometimes they can make us see things that simply aren't there."
"When we start to imagine what could happen--when we take that as truth, we close the door on both the bad and the good. And I think we lose something important. If I had listened to those fears, I wouldn't be here right now, sharing dinner with you. I wouldn't have so much to look forward to. So... I think I made the right choice."
"Maybe. But I get the feeling that trusting nature of yours isn't something that just applies to me," He says, a little wry.
Sometimes, when she really gets going, he hears Ichigo in her. It's disarming, first because of the layer of irony that he finds Ichigo in her and not himself, then because he knows Ichigo would never turn that logic, that kind of speechifying he does, around on him. When it was the two of them, he spoke and Ichigo fought it tooth and nail. Where with everyone else he's an exception to a good nature, a hole that reveals it all a facade, with her, it's solid and true.
He's going to have to be more careful. For her sake, and his own. Her safety and whatever he has of the remains of his sanity.
But he feels the need to comment on something else she said. "Heh. A lot can happen in a day, huh? I know the feeling." He shakes his head. Usually, those long but fast days were filled with battles. This was an exception, but certainly no less... gargantuan in what he'd fell into here.
She can't deny that he's right on one count. It's not just him. She would have extended that same philosophy to anyone that she met, if she could. But at the same time, he's wrong. A lot of it also has to do with who he is. How she can't look at him without in some part seeing his relation to her son.
That likeness is what gave her the courage to overcome those fears.
She smiles wanly at him, then tosses the drying towel at him. "I think I've already heard enough about your hectic lives. I'm not sure that I want to know more." One heart attack per day. That's probably a rule that she should lay down sooner rather than later.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2018-04-15 04:19 am (UTC)"I'm not sure that you sound very accepting right now," she points out, but it's only a gentle caution, not an admonishment. She wants to ask if he's really okay, but she's not sure that the answer right now would be yes.
So instead, she continues: "But if you're really okay with this, then I am, too. I don't think you could find a more unconventional team." An Quincy and a Zanpakuto spirit, both tainted by the same hollow. It's an unquestionably weird pairing, but she's willing to give it a try.
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on 2018-04-15 08:24 am (UTC)"Heh. Maybe not. Give Ichigo a run for his money," He snickers. Then, since it apparently needs elucidation, "I'm okay with it. I've never worked with anyone else quite like this, but I figure we can manage."
Two people together, instead of two beings merged. The dance of it feels messier, but if she's tending to the defensive, it might be doable.
"It's not like I need you to wield me either. I can carry myself."
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on 2018-04-15 09:01 pm (UTC)He further mentions that she won't need to wield his sword, and her smile turns a little more wry for just a moment. "That's a relief. I've never used a sword before. I don't think that would go well for either of us--but especially me." She's more likely to lop an arm off than manage to wield a sword the right way.
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on 2018-04-15 09:19 pm (UTC)"Give me some credit," He laughs. "I wouldn't let you get cut." Not by him, oh no. Not unless they were really going all out in their sparring, but even he still can't quite see that.
"It's probably easier than you think, anyway. At least, for a basic sword in the simplest of battles. I would obviously be a learning curve and-" He eyes her and her stature. "-I'm not all sure you could lift me," He says, teasing some more.
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on 2018-04-15 09:27 pm (UTC)Being an archer helps build muscle, as does carting around three children on the norm. Neither one of those things is a very easy task.
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on 2018-04-15 09:51 pm (UTC)And maybe, part of it is just him feeling smug.
"A Khyber knife," He says, without explanation. "Or a butcher knife if you don't know what that is well enough to picture it. A blade as tall as he is."
His brows rise up. "Strength or no, I stand by what I said."
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on 2018-04-15 10:23 pm (UTC)"Well..." She says, getting up from the table with her own meal finished. She starts collecting the dishes together. "If you're as heavy as all that, then I guess you don't need seconds~."
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on 2018-04-15 10:29 pm (UTC)"W-Wai--" He starts, then stops.
"You know what? Fine! You're right! I guess I don't!" He huffs, leans back in his chair, and folds his arms. He's not sulking. He's just... proving a point!
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on 2018-04-15 10:36 pm (UTC)"You know, it'd be a shame if we got back to Ichigo, and he couldn't lift you, either. Really, it's for the best."
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on 2018-04-16 08:19 am (UTC)Whatever. Jokes on her. Nobody ever said he had to eat anyway. It's probably all just extra.
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on 2018-04-16 02:07 pm (UTC)So after the sound of her finishing with the dishes, she comes around the counter again to the table. There's a small noise as she sets a fresh bowl of curry next to him, a set of chopsticks laid over the top of the bowl.
"You shouldn't sulk like that. Your face might stick that way," she cautions him, teasing just a little. Then she touches the top of his head briefly--like someone might pat a child, and heads back around the counter to put the leftovers away.
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on 2018-04-16 06:28 pm (UTC)He looks up at that new, closer, sound and his eyes take in a filled bowl. His delight is shameless and immediate. He laughs once and pulls it all in. He's grinning and distracted, enough so that he doesn't catch her until it's too late and she's patting his head.
"Ugh, don't say that," He complains, though his mood has already improved. "You joke, but I'm pretty sure it's true and Ichigo's the living example of it." He wastes not a second more and begins to devour that curry before she can change her mind and take it away.
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on 2018-04-16 06:42 pm (UTC)His comment about Ichigo catches her off guard again, though. He keeps throwing these small tidbits of information about her son, and she tries not to seem too desperate to catch each one of them--whether they're good or bad. The sound of her moving around does pause for a moment, but she quickly resumes again.
"...I'll admit, it's difficult to imagine him making that face." He smiled so much as a boy, it's hard to picture anything else.
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on 2018-04-16 06:53 pm (UTC)He eyes inside the bowl, still trying to scrape out every last bit her can. Unfortunately, eventually, there's not much more to scrape unless he wants to eat the actual bowl.
"I'd have given him a hard time about it and all the energy he's wasting with stupid acts but we haven't nearly got that far down the list of grievances." He sets the bowl down, and then stands, taking the dish to the sink himself.
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on 2018-04-16 09:50 pm (UTC)"Well, when we get back, I'll help you with that," she tells him, as he walks his empty bowl to the sink. She holds out her hand for it, like she expects him to hand it over. "I won't let him keep making that kind of face while I'm there."
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on 2018-04-16 10:08 pm (UTC)He falters only a moment on passing the bowl to her. Might as well take advantage of an offer.
Then, more seriously, and with an easier smile, he says, "I'm sure you'll have no problem. You never used to, after all." Countless toddler-ish tears were stopped by the power of her voice and smile.
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on 2018-04-17 02:42 am (UTC)"Well... He's older now," she points out, only for something to use as a distraction from how much that smiling little boy means to her. "He'll be a teenager when I see him again. Those are always more difficult."
It actually does worry her a little... but she's sure that they'll work it out somehow.
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on 2018-04-17 08:15 am (UTC)"He's stubborn, I'll give you that," He says. He leans down upon the counter, beside where she works at the dishes. "But it won't be impossible. He does smile sometimes." Little moments. Short ones. Saving the day. Saying goodbye to a shinigami. Walking along with Inoue and Chad not fair behind. A girl cutting to the heart of him to remind Ichigo he still has one, mask or no.
It disquiets him. He can't smile for the same things Ichigo does. Every one of those brings some sense of feeling strangled.
"I'm not sure how I could prove it to you, but I can't think why you would have any problem."
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on 2018-04-17 10:14 pm (UTC)"You don't have to prove it to me. I believe you."
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on 2018-04-17 10:26 pm (UTC)He looks away from her, like it's too much for him. It is, a bit.
"Kind of a wonder in itself, all things considered," He says. "Do you usually trust this easily?"
He can't remember any particular instance from youth. In retrospect, they were always the odd family out.
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on 2018-04-17 10:36 pm (UTC)"I don't think I'd put it like that. It's more that I don't have any reason not to trust you. Convincing me that I'll be able to make my son smile again... I can't imagine anything self-serving from that. You're just simply telling me what you believe. And I've decided that I'll believe it, too."
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on 2018-04-17 10:52 pm (UTC)He's never in his life heard of a hollow playing a long game like that. He doesn't know if any could. He can't imagine going to the effort. But on the other hand, she can't imagine he's not self-serving and that too is a joke.
"But it's not that. It's that you need a reason not to trust, instead of a reason to trust in the first place." And that he has, at least, given a few reasons. He must have. These things just happen with him.
He shrugs then. "I don't know. It's different."
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on 2018-04-17 11:49 pm (UTC)"When you stopped, after we'd first met in that dream--" She laughs a little, at herself. "Yesterday, I guess?" it catches her by surprise that it's only been that long, but she continues regardless.
"There was a part of me that was scared to trust you. I thought all of those same things to myself--and I think that part of me is the same for everyone. When people warn us about this or that, we listen, whether we want to or not. And maybe those warnings are right sometimes, but sometimes they can make us see things that simply aren't there."
"When we start to imagine what could happen--when we take that as truth, we close the door on both the bad and the good. And I think we lose something important. If I had listened to those fears, I wouldn't be here right now, sharing dinner with you. I wouldn't have so much to look forward to. So... I think I made the right choice."
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on 2018-04-18 08:31 am (UTC)Sometimes, when she really gets going, he hears Ichigo in her. It's disarming, first because of the layer of irony that he finds Ichigo in her and not himself, then because he knows Ichigo would never turn that logic, that kind of speechifying he does, around on him. When it was the two of them, he spoke and Ichigo fought it tooth and nail. Where with everyone else he's an exception to a good nature, a hole that reveals it all a facade, with her, it's solid and true.
He's going to have to be more careful. For her sake, and his own. Her safety and whatever he has of the remains of his sanity.
But he feels the need to comment on something else she said. "Heh. A lot can happen in a day, huh? I know the feeling." He shakes his head. Usually, those long but fast days were filled with battles. This was an exception, but certainly no less... gargantuan in what he'd fell into here.
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on 2018-04-19 12:45 am (UTC)That likeness is what gave her the courage to overcome those fears.
She smiles wanly at him, then tosses the drying towel at him. "I think I've already heard enough about your hectic lives. I'm not sure that I want to know more." One heart attack per day. That's probably a rule that she should lay down sooner rather than later.
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